Sunday, 13 January 2013

IKEA ‘SENIOR’ Cast iron casserole dish with lid.

Happy stew year!


It’s January, that means it is stew season! Money tight after DMXmas? Stew! Resolution to learn to cook? Stew! Need warming up on a cold night? Stew! Stew! Stew!

Or casserole.

Speaking of money being tight a Le Creuset cast-iron, enamel coated, 24cm diameter base casserole dish/Dutch oven/crock pot (are these all the same thing?) costs £130. That’s not cheap. Ok, they last a lifetime, but I don’t have my lifetime’s crockery allowance to hand right now.

But Ikea have a cast-iron, enamel coated, 24cm diameter base casserole dish/Dutch oven/crock pot for £24: http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/70131724/

£24! That is a saving equivalent to a year’s worth of stew ingredients!

Half a kilo of chuck steak costs £5.00 from Waitrose. From Waitrose! That’s the good stuff, that’s a chunky handful of cow. Chuck steak is usually diced up and sold as braising steak, but stick it in the pot for three hours and there is no need to dice it; it falls apart when prodded with a silicone spatula, a wobbly rubbery spatula! Hoo, boy, that is some tender meat.

And the bone? The meat FALLS OFF! It just falls off the bone! And all that bony flavour stays in the pot; just pick the bone out with some soft-tipped tongs (you don’t want to go scraping the enamel having spent £130/£24 on the pot).

Half a shoulder of lamb is about a fiver as well, buying diced meat in a pack will typically set you back more than double that of buying a joint; and the flavour and tenderness are incomparable, incomparable I say!

Lamb stew!


I am super-excited for stew season, you can make such a variety and the principle is the same for each one:

Heat a drop of oil in the pot on the hob, brown the meat and set it aside, fry off some veg in the meat juices, season, add stock and stir, put the meat back in, put the lid on and transfer to the oven to cook low and slow. Stew!

Of course the only downside with it being from Ikea is that as a flat pack pot you have to smelt the iron and cast it yourself. No, of course not, but I did have to carry it home which damn near slayed me.

Ever wonder how your sweet old granny had the strength to pick you up by the scruff of the neck when you were being naughty? Even a medium sized, cast-iron dish weighs about 4 kilos; and that’s without anything in it.

If you want to make a stew, a cast iron pot is just the absolute best, you can always fry off in a pan and transfer to a Pyrex or earthenware dish for the oven stage; but I always felt I was losing some flavour in the transfer process, like it had somehow escaped from pan to dish. One pot keeps the flavour in and they are handsome enough to serve straight from the table. Buy a Le Creuset lid off eBay if you must show off to your friends.

£24? What a crock! Stewpendous! Score: 10 out of 10.


Review  Everything  scores  with  Just  a  Score  app  –  the  app  that  lets  you  score  anything.  



Bonus content - One stew fits all:

Heat oil and brown the meat
Fry off the veg
Season
Add stock and put in oven.
Lamb pot roast
Brown lamb half shoulder on all sides and set aside.
Add chopped onions, and carrots and potatoes (or any root vegetable).
Season and add thyme.
Add a pint of stock and stir well. Reintroduce the meat (and any escaped juices), put the lid on and put in a low oven (160/150 fan) for three-four hours.

Lamb curry
Add two chopped onions – dupiaza means double onions! Put in a good spoon of madras paste. Add a tin of chick peas and tomatoes.
Add spices of your choice; paprika, cumin, garam masala, turmeric, curry powder, whatever!
Beef stew
Brown beef chuck steak or brisket on all sides and set aside.
Add chopped carrots and swede, I get mine from a bag as swedes are gigantic.  
Add a tablespoon of corn flour and stir in to thicken. Season and add rosemary and bay leafs. A glass of red wine, or splash of port if none on the go, will add depth and de-glaze the base of the pot.
Chilli
Add chopped onions, red peppers, chillies and tomatoes. Add a tin of beans (kidney, black, pinto.)
Salt, black pepper, paprika, cayenne pepper, Tabasco  maybe some brown sugar if the tomatoes are too tart (or the chillies too hot!)
Ragu
Cut pork ribs so they fit easily into the pan. Brown the rib sections and remove from pan.
Add chopped fennel and garlic. Take some sausages out of their skins and add (or substitute onion for fennel and use fennel sausages – don’t double up on fennel; the aniseed taste will overpower).
Add a glass of red wine to de-glaze the base of the pot. Add salt and pepper, dried basil (fresh will turn to mush but feel free to use). Add a tin of tomatoes and stir in.

And these are just the ones I have actually tried. Moroccan lamb, ham and cider, hunter’s chicken, chorizo and white bean. Once you can cook one stew you can cook them all! Rabbit and pheasant if you are a Lord or gamekeeper or something. Go to it, go stew it! 

Brisket


Pot o chilli

Chilli and rice

Leftover stew? Put it is a pasty!  



OMG!? Portable stew!

Update: it is 30 notes now, that is still bargin city.



Tuesday, 18 December 2012

A DMXmas Carol


I’ve had a soft spot for DMX since accidentally purchasing the clean version of X Gon’ Give It to Ya from iTunes: Where every F-word (or M-F-word) was replaced with a muted silence, and every N-bomb with barks or growls.




But just when you think you can’t love the big dog any more he only goes and spits out a unique version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. An instant YouTube phenomenon with two million views in two weeks. Add to the tally here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXca4WcCzlo

Waving off a print-out of the words “I know the lyrics” X looks up into the distance and half-sings, almost under his breath, as he recalls the names  of the reindeer from the depths of his memory “...Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen...”. Then, after melodically recounting the other sleigh-pullers, his trademark throaty husk takes over as he launches into the carol proper while hammering out a slapped beat, hunched over the desk in front of him.

He even does his own hype: “And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows (c’mon, c’mon!)”

Stay out of my way, Mother-[______]!


For a tough-guy, jail-bird, hip-hop superstar to cover a Christmas carol, and such a twee, cuddly one, with such vigour and obvious enjoyment; oh it just warms my heart.

Aii yo, where my [WOOF] at?!
Merry DMXmas! A merry DMXmas to us all!

X out of 10


Monday, 10 December 2012

Jack Reacher movie casting


Standing 195 centimetres tall, Jack Reacher is the ex-military cop who drifts from town to town dishing out his own brand of justice by bear-hugging villains to death.
A clever trick of perspective is used whereby Cruiser’s co-stars stand in the distance so he towers over them playing Jack Reacher

Is Tom Cruise the right man for the role? The obvious choice is Liam Neeson. He is tall. But Jack Reacher is such a ridiculous character I think Cruiser may be one of the only actors in Hollywood capable of bringing any credibility to the role, or at least playing it with a straight face. With Neeson it would just be a less believable Taken, even with his military acting experience and almost correct height - just two cm off, according to the internet.  

Jack Reacher is like video game character: He is improbably stealthy for such a massive guy, he is great at hand to hand combat and long range sniping and everything in between.  He wears the same clothes every day and regains energy by eating and sleeping in random places. He also plays devil’s advocate with himself and does all his own exposition.

But he isn’t a game, yet. He is the protagonist of Lee Child’s best-selling series of books,  and now the title character of the motion picture adaption of One Shot; the ninth novel in the series.

Lee Child: ‘Tom Clancy for chavs’? 


Jack Reacher the movie is sure to appeal to its target audience: People who enjoy pointing out the differences between films and the books they are based on. And upon its release this Boxing Day Jack Reacher will be all their Christmases come at once. Ten inches shy of the eponymous character’s literary height; this shortcoming seems as great an oversight as Harry Potter not wearing glasses, or Bella cracking a smile.   

But did you know that Morgan Freeman’s character from Shawshank Redemption, wily old contrabander Red, was a ginger haired Irishman in the book? If that casting decision were made today there would be outrage! Essentially, if you don’t think Tom Cruise is the right man for the role of Jack then you are a racist.   

And speaking of Shawshank Tim Robbins is 6.5ft; and no one can seriously think he has the charisma to carry a movie of this kind? Very few actors do.

God, I hope cruiser bear hugs someone to death


I really enjoyed One Shot the book, it was pretty trashy; but I do like to see a baddie getting their just desserts. It was definitely a page-turner, and I am pretty optimistic about the film adaptation where I won’t actually even have to turn said pages.


Casting score: 5.7/6.5
You only get one shot, so make it count. You might never get this moment again...





Friday, 7 December 2012

Shining Force – The Legacy of Great Intention. iPhone, Mega Drive (Videogame)


The Legacy of Great Intention? Now that sounds like a cautionary tale, oddest game subtitle ever contender, anyone?

I find iPhone conversions of vintage games really hard to steer with my fat thumb fumbling against the glass of the onscreen substitute d-pad, it’s like my little hero is coming back from the tavern drunk as he staggers off to save the kingdom. Still, it doesn’t matter too much if he takes a few attempts to get through a door since he is just wandering around the villages and castles in-between battles; and those are turn-based so the bad guys will wait patiently for him to sober up enough to lamp them one.

"Thanks, but no thanks, 'your holiness'; as an atheist I shan’t be resurrecting by fallen comrades.”


You start off with a ramshackle band of followers, and you can make do with them; but the special characters that join your party along the journey are way, way better: Your standard warrior replaced with a mystical dragon, your steadfast dwarf by a monster in a steam-powered robo-suit, and your elfin archer by a centaur with a bazooka.

Now, a steam-powered robo-suit, that I can get behind; but towards the end of the game there are full-on robots. Electric-powered robots! They jar with the quasi-medieval fantasy setting; but at least this differentiates Shining Force from all the other quasi-medieval fantasy settings, so prevalent in RPGs of this ilk. It is like this game is set in the bridge that leads from medieval zone to future zone in The Crystal Maze.
 
Anyway, your poor team; earnest, willing, and replaceable as you come across über-powered new recruits. I suppose you could stick with your original crew, like a sentimental masochist, certainly if you appreciate a challenge you should; as soon as Werewolf, Ninja and Priest-who-heals-everybody-at-once join, your team of ringers will be unstoppable. I can’t really comment; I played like a billionaire sheik ruining the grass-roots ethos of the baddie team from Space Jam.

As per old-school RPG tradition there is no post-game; once you see the credits you are done. You can play the last battle over and over if you really want to max your guys, but you soon feel like you’re bullying poor Dark Dragon. The Game Boy Advance remake (Resurrection of the Dark Dragon) does start you back at the beginning with tougher baddies, but at 99¢ on the app store for the Genesis port you couldn’t really argue the GBA cart represents better value for money.

Yay 90s box art! Yay mini-skirts for men!


The script is pretty funny, and some of the locations are quite memorable; there is a dramatic battle on a rope bridge, and a town of caravans that have driven off by the time you finish your battle.
Random encounter haters take heart: the game is split into 30 set battles and does a better job than most of its genre descendants at linking village exploration to battle-time; using the same engine, and even the same locations – enemy encounter in a village? Gasp! I love Disgaea, but it’s easy to be abstract; teleporting from one floating grid to the next. Shining Force has a good sense of continuity to the adventure, without juddering from map screen, to battle screen, to cut scene.

I wish the game was really bad, then I could end the review: ‘The road to hell is paved with Great Intentions’. But Shining Force is good; if you are in the mood for an early 16-bit RPG then this is a cute one and it is noteworthy in history as one of the progenitors of the tactical RPG scene, yet it has aged well. You could even say... the road to heaven is paved with great intentions. I wouldn’t say that, because it’s not as good as Fire Emblem, but you could say that.    

7/10

The road to seven is paved with great intentions. I’ll stop now. 

Spoiler warning!

Monday, 12 November 2012

essential Waitrose cinnamon cakes hand wash.


You have to work a little harder than you might expect to form a decent lather, but that it doesn’t foam up to an insane degree is a plus in my book. As well as being suitable for hands, essential Waitrose cinnamon cakes hand wash is robust enough for face cleansing also.


I was initially worried upon purchase that ‘cinnamon cakes’ would not compare favourably to the modern bathroom staples: Aloe vera, tea tree, mint leaf; I didn’t think it would have the freshness. But while it obviously won’t have the zing of a citrus or plant-based wash, it does have lovely warmth.

As the nights draw in this is a great soap to introduce to your bathroom rotation, especially in a guest or downstairs wash room; the gentle, spiced tones are quire evocative of the impending festive season without being too woody or masculine. Having the scent as ‘cinnamon cakes’, rather than just straight cinnamon, really softens out what could have been an overpowering aroma.

It smells delicious, and makes you feel delicious; and at a tenth of the price of its premium counter-parts.  

Score: Four and a half cinnamons out of five.