Marvel’s Daredevil: Netflix original series.

Daredevil  is  blind,  his  power  is  he  can  see.  He  sort-of  works  as  a  lawyer,  but  mostly  as  a  vigilante.  He  likes  to  beat  baddies  bloody,  and  to  get  beaten  up  himself.  

Nerds  on  the  internet  love  Daredevil  because,  unlike  Spiderman  or  Thor,  your  auntie  couldn’t  pick  him  out  of  a  line-up.  

Like,  really  beaten  up.  Beaten  bloody  and  raw,  punctured,  bludgeoned.  There  is  a  guy  who  gets  decapitated  by  having  his  head  slammed  in  a  car  door,  there  is  a  guy  who  head-butts  a  jagged  metal  pole  through  his  own  eye-socket;  to  put  over  to  the  audience  how  scared  he  is  of  the  main  baddie. 

The  main  baddie  is  the  crime  Kingpin,  who  oversees:  The  Russian  Mafia  (they  beat-up  women)  The  Triads  (they  cut  out  the  eyes  of  their  heroin-sweatshop  slaves),  The  Yakuza  (they  are  also  ninja-assassins),  and  corporate  accountants  (the  most  evil  of  all  criminals  –  take  that,  one  percenters).

Nerds  on  the  internet  love  Kingpin  because  he  has  some  sort  of  undiagnosed  anxiety  disorder,  and  all  the  nerds  on  the  internet  think  they  have  some  kind  of  undiagnosed  anxiety  disorder  too.  

Intricate  criminal  underworld.  Ooo,  so  complex.

Brutal  violence.  Ooo,  so  gritty.

Everyone  drinks  whisky.  Ooo,  so  grown-up. 

At  a  wedding  where  TV  shows  are  the  guests,  Daredevil  is  the  surly  13  year  old,  sulking  that  they  have  to  sit  on  the  kids’  table. 

‘Take  me  seriously!’  Daredevil  screams,  with  its  pretentions  of  being  a  serious  crime  show;  after  all,  it  has  not  one,  not  two,  but  three  organised  crime  syndicates;  that  is  three  times  as  super  serious!

And  it’s  a  show  about  lawyers,  serious  lawyers.     

And  it  is  graphically  violent.  So  bleak,  like  real  life.

Marvel’s  Daredevil  isn’t  ashamed  of  being  a  comic  book  character,  but  it  does  have  a  chip  on  its  shoulder;  and  tries  to  distance  itself  from  its  Marvel  stable-mates  by  having  a  level  of  barbarousness  you  just  wouldn’t  get  in  Marvel’s  Agents  of  Shield. 

The  people  who  like  Marvel’s  Daredevil:  Netflix  original  series  are  the  same  people  who  call  comic  books  ‘graphic  novels’  –  you  don’t  need  that  in  your  life.    

And  while  this  violence  isn’t  cartoonish,  it  is  over  the  top. 

Like  Game  of  Thrones,  Daredevil  is  so  unrelentingly  violent  that  it  feels  pointless  developing  any  kind  of  attachment  to  any  of  the  characters;  they  are  just  going  to  end  up  with  some  horrible  fate.  So,  like  Game  of  Thrones,  you  switch  off  emotionally.

And  without  any  emotional  connection,  what  is  left?

‘*blerg*  Excuse  me,  I  just  coughed  up  some  gritty  realism, *cough*  so  bleak  *cough* ’

Well,  there  are  some  good  fight  scenes.  Very  good,  in  fact.  Although  punch-fatigue  soon  sets  in.  I  appreciate  DD  can’t  see  their  kissers,  but  does  he  ever  just  spark  someone  out  with  one  punch?  He  takes  as  long  to  dispatch  a  hired  goon  as  he  does  an  end-of-level  boss. 

There  is  some  very  occasional  lawyering,  something  I  would  have  liked  to  have  seen  more  of  before  resorting  straight  to  fisticuffs;  I  mean,  at  least  pretend  you  have  exhausted  all  legal  avenues  before  taking  the  law  into  your  own  fists. 

Your  own  bloody,  bloody  fists.

Daredevil  yellow:  quick,  apply  the  grittiest  color  filter  we  have!

Daredevil  is  disappointing  because  it  is  almost  good,  it  is  almost  great.  But  it  is  crippled  by  a  lack  of  confidence  in  itself  as  a  premise,  and  its  desperation,  its  pitiable  desperation,  to  be  seen  as  credible  by  those  outside  the  Marvel  sphere. 

Marvel’s  Daredevil:  Netflix  original  series  score:  3  out  of  10 

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Season  two  preview:  Kingpin  beats  the  same  Russian  with  a  golf  club  for  8  episodes  while  DD  ‘watches’  from  the  corner,  masturbating.  

IKEA ‘SENIOR’ Cast iron casserole dish with lid.

Happy stew year!

It’s January, that means it is stew season! Money tight after DMXmas? Stew! Resolution to learn to cook? Stew! Need warming up on a cold night? Stew! Stew! Stew!

Or casserole.

Speaking of money being tight a Le Creuset cast-iron, enamel coated, 24cm diameter base casserole dish/Dutch oven/crock pot (are these all the same thing?) costs £130. That’s not cheap. Ok, they last a lifetime, but I don’t have my lifetime’s crockery allowance to hand right now.

But Ikea have a cast-iron, enamel coated, 24cm diameter base casserole dish/Dutch oven/crock pot for £24: http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/70131724/

£24! That is a saving equivalent to a year’s worth of stew ingredients!

Half a kilo of chuck steak costs £5.00 from Waitrose. From Waitrose! That’s the good stuff, that’s a chunky handful of cow. Chuck steak is usually diced up and sold as braising steak, but stick it in the pot for three hours and there is no need to dice it; it falls apart when prodded with a silicone spatula, a wobbly rubbery spatula! Hoo, boy, that is some tender meat.

And the bone? The meat FALLS OFF! It just falls off the bone! And all that bony flavour stays in the pot; just pick the bone out with some soft-tipped tongs (you don’t want to go scraping the enamel having spent £130/£24 on the pot).

Half a shoulder of lamb is about a fiver as well, buying diced meat in a pack will typically set you back more than double that of buying a joint; and the flavour and tenderness are incomparable, incomparable I say!

Lamb stew!

I am super-excited for stew season, you can make such a variety and the principle is the same for each one:

Heat a drop of oil in the pot on the hob, brown the meat and set it aside, fry off some veg in the meat juices, season, add stock and stir, put the meat back in, put the lid on and transfer to the oven to cook low and slow. Stew!

Of course the only downside with it being from Ikea is that as a flat pack pot you have to smelt the iron and cast it yourself. No, of course not, but I did have to carry it home which damn near slayed me.

Ever wonder how your sweet old granny had the strength to pick you up by the scruff of the neck when you were being naughty? Even a medium sized, cast-iron dish weighs about 4 kilos; and that’s without anything in it.

If you want to make a stew, a cast iron pot is just the absolute best, you can always fry off in a pan and transfer to a Pyrex or earthenware dish for the oven stage; but I always felt I was losing some flavour in the transfer process, like it had somehow escaped from pan to dish. One pot keeps the flavour in and they are handsome enough to serve straight from the table. Buy a Le Creuset lid off eBay if you must show off to your friends.

£24? What a crock! Stewpendous! Score: 10 out of 10.

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Bonus content - One stew fits all:

	Heat oil and brown the meat	Fry off the veg	Season	Add stock and put in oven.
Lamb pot roast	Brown lamb half shoulder on all sides and set aside.	Add chopped onions, and carrots and potatoes (or any root vegetable).	Season and add thyme.	Add a pint of stock and stir well. Reintroduce the meat (and any escaped juices), put the lid on and put in a low oven (160/150 fan) for three-four hours.
Lamb curry		Add two chopped onions – dupiaza means double onions! Put in a good spoon of madras paste. Add a tin of chick peas and tomatoes.	Add spices of your choice; paprika, cumin, garam masala, turmeric, curry powder, whatever!
Beef stew	Brown beef chuck steak or brisket on all sides and set aside.	Add chopped carrots and swede, I get mine from a bag as swedes are gigantic.	Add a tablespoon of corn flour and stir in to thicken. Season and add rosemary and bay leafs. A glass of red wine, or splash of port if none on the go, will add depth and de-glaze the base of the pot.
Chilli		Add chopped onions, red peppers, chillies and tomatoes. Add a tin of beans (kidney, black, pinto.)	Salt, black pepper, paprika, cayenne pepper, Tabasco  maybe some brown sugar if the tomatoes are too tart (or the chillies too hot!)
Ragu	Cut pork ribs so they fit easily into the pan. Brown the rib sections and remove from pan.	Add chopped fennel and garlic. Take some sausages out of their skins and add (or substitute onion for fennel and use fennel sausages – don’t double up on fennel; the aniseed taste will overpower).	Add a glass of red wine to de-glaze the base of the pot. Add salt and pepper, dried basil (fresh will turn to mush but feel free to use). Add a tin of tomatoes and stir in.

And these are just the ones I have actually tried. Moroccan lamb, ham and cider, hunter’s chicken, chorizo and white bean. Once you can cook one stew you can cook them all! Rabbit and pheasant if you are a Lord or gamekeeper or something. Go to it, go stew it! 

Brisket

Pot o chilli

Chilli and rice

Leftover stew? Put it is a pasty!  

OMG!? Portable stew!

Update: it is 30 notes now, that is still bargin city.

A DMXmas Carol

I’ve had a soft spot for DMX since accidentally purchasing the clean version of X Gon’ Give It to Ya from iTunes: Where every F-word (or M-F-word) was replaced with a muted silence, and every N-bomb with barks or growls.

But just when you think you can’t love the big dog any more he only goes and spits out a unique version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. An instant YouTube phenomenon with two million views in two weeks. Add to the tally here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXca4WcCzlo

Waving off a print-out of the words “I know the lyrics” X looks up into the distance and half-sings, almost under his breath, as he recalls the names  of the reindeer from the depths of his memory “...Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen...”. Then, after melodically recounting the other sleigh-pullers, his trademark throaty husk takes over as he launches into the carol proper while hammering out a slapped beat, hunched over the desk in front of him.

He even does his own hype: “And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows (c’mon, c’mon!)”

Stay out of my way, Mother-[______]!

For a tough-guy, jail-bird, hip-hop superstar to cover a Christmas carol, and such a twee, cuddly one, with such vigour and obvious enjoyment; oh it just warms my heart.

Aii yo, where my [WOOF] at?!

Merry DMXmas! A merry DMXmas to us all!

X out of 10